Evolution

So today in class my Sensei mentioned that he was changing things up a bit. He established formal learning requirements for belts. Not just the kata and kumite (and line drills), but bunkai, ground knowledge, etc. While I felt like I was always learning things in class and that things didn't get stagnant, this is a definite improvement. It looks like we are doing more rather than less, and rounding out karate nicely. Instead of just doing a lot of line drills and kata during class (with some ground work on occasion), now we are doing a lot more bunkai, some self defense drills, and have a more established curriculum. My instructor, I think, is growing in his knowledge of teaching just as we are learning. It is nice to see.

Still sore

So Sunday (the 1st) I exercised for the first time in a little over a week due to vacation in Florida. With some movements, I continued to increase weight, while with others I deliberately stalled or even moved back. My squats, which I had failed on prior to vacation at 215 lbs I backed down to 210. And they weren't hard this time. Barbell press went up to 100 from 95. Deadlift I kept at 220, curl bar went up to 80lbs, and I did the requisite pullups. Actually, I'm not really making progress with pullups :/

My plan has evolved slightly to include a few vanity exercises. Here is how it is broken down now.

Plan A:
Squats
Press
Deadlift
Pullups
Curl bar (both arms at same time) - purely for vanity's sake

Plan B:
Squats
Bench Press
Barbell Row
Chinups
Upright Row (works shoulders) - purely for vanity's sake

I'm actually quite pleased with this plan, as I feel it covers everything. Full body workout, lots of compound exercises, and just enough vanity exercises so I can see some results in the mirror.

Due to the New Year, there was no class today and my instructor shifted training days to Tuesday and Thursday only this week, rather than the normal M/W/F/Sat. So even though I exercised two days ago, I'm putting off my weight training today so I can be fresh for karate this evening.

Back from vacation

So I just spent a week (from 25th to 30th of December) in the Florida Keys with the wife and kids. It was glorious. Sunshine, scuba diving, beer, pizza, hamburgers... So my diet went to hell and I gained about one and a half kilos. It was worth it. I'm back, and now going to try something I never tried before.

I have been between 89 and 90 kg since July of 2011, though my waist did go down a bit even without me losing weight. I want to drop my bodyfat to around 11 or 12 percent. Obviously I'm sticking with Primal (and a low carb variant due to diabetes), but for the first time in my life, I'm going to restrict calories. Two meals a day, and each meal will be a bit smaller. No more bulletproof coffee in the morning (even though I love it), and I'm not sure if I'm going to have a protein shake at night before bed. Lunch and dinner, and with both I'm going to try to eat until not hungry, rather than eat until full.I'll try it for two months, and see what happens.

As an aside, I've started practicing multi-moves (that is what I call them) now that I'm green belt. Today I pranced up and down doing triple punches followed by block/punches in reverse. Wow it is going to take some practice for it to become instinctual. I feel like a white belt again, but that is a good feeling. I think green belt really is going to bring back the sense of challenge which I've been missing. I've been coasting too much with karate the past several months.

I also ordered some heavy weight pants with an elastic waist. I really don't like the traditional pants at all, as they tend to chafe my waist.

skipping ranks...?

So one of the students in my class apparently skipped a kyu. Again. He went from 9th to 7th, and now 7th to 5th, apparently due to testing exceptionally well. Am I jealous? In a friendly way, for sure. Now I have a new goal. It isn't simply to pass perfectly, it is to skip a kyu. Of course, that is going to involve a fair amount of work, I think. I'd like to personally skip 5th. Why not, now I have a goal.

To be honest, though, I don't really care if I skip, though it is nice to have something to aspire to, as long as I pass "well" and not "barely". None of those "b" ranks for me, please.

So I passed

My instructor confirmed, via sms, that I passed my 6th kyu belt test last Friday. So I guess I'm in the intermediate novice stage. This evening I'll be heading to class. I've got to admit, this feels pretty good, as green belt was a bit of a milestone for me mentally. Next milestone is brown belt.

Of course, he wouldn't tell me if I "passed" or "barely passed". If I barely passed I'm going to ask to retest, as I don't really want to progress unless I'm ready for it. We'll see...

UPDATE: Yesterday (15th of December) he sent me an sms saying that he had tortured me enough, and that "you got straight A again. Bravo!!!!!!" His words, not mine :)

Took my belt test

So I took my belt test last night, and I have to admit that I think it was the best/easiest/most relaxed test I've yet taken. Granted, there are a whole bunch of factors.

1. Outside of the kata, everything else was the same as my yellow belt test and orange belt test: same kihon, same 3 step kumite
2. I realized that Sensei Amin is in fact a very kind and funny man, not the stern/scary man he came across as
3. While my karate is certainly not the best in the world, most of the other students are pretty sloppy. They either push punch (pretty common), or make wide sweeping, imprecise movements. Just in comparison it makes me look better.

Things were a little confused this test. I was apparently recorded as a kid, so rather than do my kihon and kata with the two other adults at my level, I got called up last with two kids, then was told to sit, then performed by myself. Despite that I did ok, and didn't really feel that nervous.

Now for the fun part. For me, green belt has always been a real milestone. Because while all the coloured belts indicate a novice, green belt seems to imply you are beyond the "initial" stages of your novice training, and have moved into the intermediate stages of your novice training. Brown belt, of course, symbolizes the advanced stages of novice training. So, assuming I get the good word, I am no longer an initial novice, but have been promoted to intermediate novice ;) Maybe I can pull the F out of my FNG.

progress, or not?

I wonder if the past three months are me cooling off, or if it is just life. I still enjoy karate, I enjoy it very much, and always come home with a glow after class. But I have not been practicing properly for two months. My kata is definitely behind where it should be, and I don't feel like I'm focusing enough on practicing even basic techniques.

Part of it is work. I am travelling a fair amount, and have been busy (which is a good problem to have). Also, my wife is not currently up to her usual standards of energy, so I have been required to do more around the house. 

Nonetheless, I have a lot of excuses as to why I haven't been practicing as much as I should be. And I don't know if I'm just making excuses, or if life is simply slowing down my ability to practice. Only time will tell.

I may or may not be able to make my belt test (which is in two weeks). I'll be flying back from Los Angeles on a redeye Thursday night/Friday morning, and have a test Friday evening. We'll see how I'm feeling and if I go.

First class in almost two weeks

So things have gotten busy. Work is heating up, so I'm travelling frequently. On top of that, my wife is in a family way with our third (and early on in the process), so my ability to abandon her at home with the kids (those already born) is rather limited. Travel has kept me from doing a good job of training regularly, something I noticed today at class. My first class in a long time. My line drills are fine, as they are the same line drills I've been doing since I first started studying. My kumite (3 step) is also fine. My instructor spent some time today giving me some tips on making it even better, though. It felt good, because it was more like polishing something I was good at.

My Heian Sandan, however, needs a lot of love. I have practiced a "bit" at home, and am no comfortable moving through it at mostly full speeds. But it is sloppy. And I can't seem to return to my starting point. My instructor has told me that my horse stance is too wide, and I should narrow it down and make it deeper. That *should* help, though the results at class today were still not perfect.

My belt test is in four weeks.(December 9th), and I'm going to have to study hard to feel comfortable.

My Sensei has a test of his own in a week, going for his nidan rank. He told me that they will ask him to do "x" (I don't remember what x is) number of katas from the entire pool, so he has to know them all. Today, as he worked with me and three others, he did the katas alongside us. I'd say he wanted the practice, but wow, he made everything look easy. What can I say, the man has serious skills.

I'm feeling reinspired. For a while I had been focusing on the weight training and my passion for karate faded. It isn't that I didn't enjoy it, or wanted to stop, but the passion had abated. Now that I've regularized (I don't know if that is a word, and I hate butchering the English language, but...) myself to the new weight program, my interest in karate has returned. Also, I have to admit, seeing the mad skills my sensei has is inspiring.

He's started teaching me (a bit early, as I'm not yet green belt) the multiple attack moves. Like step forward and punch three times. Step back with a block, and then a strike, etc. Obviously I'm terrible at them, but this does not surprise or dismay me. Every time I learn something new I'm terrible at it. But with practice at home (both because I can do it regularly and because nobody can see me) I'll internalize it and potentially because quite good at it.

I find I've internalized much of my weaknesses and am learning to compensate for them. I hope I just keep finding more, though, as I don't ever want to feel like I've found all of my weaknesses...

better late than never

So I made class last Friday. We all assembled for a new class photo, it was actually quite entertaining.

Class was line drills and practicing kata. I'm actually feeling pretty good about my kata. It still needs ALOT of work, but the progress I've made is terrific. I'm honestly quite looking forward to green belt. This afternoon I'm going to try to motivate the energy to do some kata work and some line drills, but I tweaked my right groin muscle doing squats. Not pulled, just achey. It should pass in a couple of days.

I scaled back on my ambitions. I'm going pretty much by the book (Starting Strength), but adding in chinups/pullups. The plan is an A/B plan which is supposed to be used three times a week for a beginner. I'm going to be doing it twice a week. I put in today's measurements and next sessions known weights.

A Plan:
squats (140 x 5 x 3)
bench press (120 x 5 x 3) - 125 next session
deadlifts (140 x 5 x 3) - 170 x 5 x 1 next session
chinups (2/3, 1/4, 1/4) - the first number is how many unassisted, the second is how many assisted

B Plan:
squats (150 x 5 x 3)
shoulder press (50 x 5 x 3)
power clean/inverted rows (5 x 3/failure x 3) *it is recommended to start power cleans in a few weeks
pullups (failure x 3)

So my sensei reminded us that the next belt test is around 6 weeks from now. Only thing that is new is the kata and the shuto-uki (or open hand block). So I'd best not monkey up my kata.

Exercise updates

So after spending an hour and a half working out yesterday, I decided to update my fitness plan. Granted, I did take two phonecalls and three emails during workout, but nonetheless, that was one looooong workout. And since I want to workout twice a week, I thought to break them up into two "mostly iron" and "mostly bodyweight" workout sessions. This will make them shorter, but still cover everything. I feel like I may be doing too much, but I don't think so.

Day 1:

• Squats: 3 x 5
• Deadlifts: 3 x 5

• Bench Press: 3 x 5
• Barbell Row: 3 x 5

• Arm Curls: 3 x 5
• Triceps Dips: 3 x failure

• Front dumbbell raise: 3 x 6
• Front Plank: 2 x death
• Side dumbbell raise: 3 x 6
• Exercise ball crunches: 2 x 20
• Shoulder Press: 3 x 6
• Side Plank: 2 x 30 seconds each

Day 2:

• Squats: 3 x 5
• Deadlifts: 3 x 5

• Pullups/Chin ups: 3 x 5 (or failure)
• Pushups: 3 x 20 (or failure)

• Arm Curls: 3 x 5
• Triceps Dips: 3 x failure

• Front dumbbell raise: 3 x 6
• Front Plank: 2 x death
• Side dumbbell raise: 3 x 6
• Exercise ball crunches: 2 x 20
• Shoulder Press: 3 x 6
• Side Plank: 2 x 30 seconds each 

I'll give it a shot. I don't think I'll be over working the shoulders, but I may be under developing the back. I think that the squats and deadlifts, though, will be enough with a single back exercise per session.

As an aside, I loved the feel of the traditional workout. I *felt* it, if that makes sense. Today I can sense my body in recovery mode, and that makes me think that I really am getting better gains as compared to the Slow Burn methodology.

Working out

So I'm doing swimmingly well at work. Big paycheck rolling in. Convinced the wife to let me spend some of it on a squat rack, barbell and bench (and some more weights to go with it). Wahoo! I'm pretty excited. The ability to stack up weights and do proper dead lifts, squats, bench press, and a horizontal pull (see item 2) makes me positively excited.

Of course, I'm also having second thoughts about the Slow Burn method of exercise. I mean, I've made progress, but I'm wondering if I really am making as much progress as I could? I like the concept of a good long rest between exercises, that ties in to most science I've read. But at the same time, I wonder if lower weights, even at a slow pace, really stimulate the muscles like traditional reps with heavier weights. So, I'm gonna try to go back to a more traditional full body workout.

These are the exercises in order:

• Squats: 3 x 5
• Deadlifts: 3 x 5

• Bench Press: 3 x 5
• Pullups/Chin ups: 3 x 5
• Pushups: 3 x 10+
• Horizontal Pull: 3 x 5

• Arm Curls: 3 x 5
• Triceps Dips: 3 x 5

• Front dumbbell raise: 3 x 6
• Front Planck: 2 x 30 seconds
• Side dumbbell raise: 3 x 6
• Exercise ball crunches: 2 x 20
• Shoulder Press: 3 x 6
• Side Planck: 30 seconds each

Time spent: who knows?

Of course, the amount of time it will take me to do this may make it unreasonable. I'm switching from one set to three sets in order to increase hypertrophy. I've figured it will take me around an hour, and I'll be jumping back and forth alot. I mean, I plan on full rest between sets, so I'll be doing squats and deadlifts by themselves, but then mixing back with chest and maybe shoulders with core. You know, exercise while the other is on cool down. Still likely take me ~1 hour, though. And I'm going to try this every 4 days.

On a side note, made it out sprinting again. I still felt a twitch in my left leg, where I got hurt before, but nothing while running, and it feels fine today. My left groin muscle, though, hurts. Not as in pulled, but more in that it hasn't been properly used since I was a kid. Looking forward to toughening up a bit.

As for karate, I'm making progress again. The basement is clear, I have room to practice. Today I think I got the basics of Heian Sandan down. From this point onwards it is just refinement. That is an inevitable process.

I need to spend more time with complex moves. Like the step followed by three punches. Or the block followed by a counter punch. While moving. That I learned for the first time last week, and I know it will take me a while to internalize it. Tomorrow, with a little luck, I would like to spend a good amount of time practicing line drills (as well as Heian Sandan).

I'm invincible (Part 2)

Okay, so this has absolutely nothing to do with this, but I like the title. Last night, at class, we did line drills and bunkai (which I love doing for some reason), and then worked on blood chokes. You know, if you strangle someone (stop airflow) it can take quite some time for them to pass out, but if you cut off the blood to the head by choking the arteries it is much faster.

Except, apparently, with me. I ended up being used and discarded as a test dummy because nobody could do a choke on me and make it work. I'd have to tap sometimes due to fear of my neck being broken, but never did I feel like I was going to pass out. Hmmmmm. Note to badguys, don't strangle me, just shoot me.

Anyway, training was a hoot. Felt good, and I finished learning the rest of the Heian Sandan. Now I just need to practice it more.

I don't know who this guy is, but I love his katas. They also seem closest to the way of doing katas that my instructor teaches me.

Long gap

So  combination of events prevented me from, well, doing anything karate related. Last week I went to class on Monday. Then, due to working around the house, my exercise room/home dojo was filled up with boards that needed sanding, routing, filling, staining, etc which really kept me from doing anything except a perfunctory workout. Certainly no katas or line drills. Then, of course, I had to go to New Jersey on Monday and Tuesday, and when I came back Tuesday night, so did my wife's cousin and her boyfriend. From Israel. Who are deaf.

Actually, they are charming people, and it was good fun having them here, but it certainly put a crimp in my ability to workout in the basement where the guest bedroom is. Today they left, however, and I commemorated their visit by practicing all 2 1/2 katas (haven't learned the second half of Heian Sandan yet) and doing a full body workout that my body is still fealing a while later. Good stuff :)

Tonight I'm going to my first class since Monday of last week, and I'm wondering how tough it is going to be as it happens to be the same day I worked out. I won't, for sure, be at my peak.

I'm sore

Which actually feels pretty good, so I guess it is a good kind of sore. Hammies in particular, but also, strangely, my back. I guess I need to do more dead lifts. Still, I was pleased with the improvement of my conditioning when sparring, and I'd like to see how much more it will improve as I really start sprinting. My feat are still adjusting to the new shoes, and that is making sprinting take a back seat. I mean, how can I sprint until I no longer am getting blisters from the shoes?

I had fun!!!!

Today's class rocked, which is probably why I'm writing about it at 1:20 in the morning (or at least that is the hour and minute I'm starting this). I believe my instructor felt we had been slacking off, as we did repetitive line drills ad nauseum, which I must admit I love. I mean, I must have kicked four hundred times in a row. Granted it was a mix of kicks, and some complex multiple movements, but it was intense. Loved it. Then we did some drills, and finished with sparring.

Ok, so I sparred with 3 opponents. The first was a lady (any female who punches me in the face gets the respect to be called a lady). I found myself trying to muscle my way to victory, but with very limited success. Then I sparred another brown belt, this time a young man (early twenties), who taught me a thing or two. Then a young kid (19) who, in the vernacular, pwned me. Nonetheless it was a hoot. I just wish it had been 100% contact rather than 50% contact.

But the fitness felt great, and the practice felt great, and I feel quite rejuvenated. Wahoo! Oh, yeah, and I got my card back from my sensei...

Staying fit

So today was a lifting day, I managed to squeeze it in (took 35 minutes) before a 1pm meeting. Did pullups, chinups, free-weight rowing, curls, pushups, chair presses, shoulders (multiple types including presses), squats, dead lifts, and pikes. Felt good despite having elevated blood sugars. I still haven't figured out why. I woke up this morning with them high at 178. I took 15 units of R (which should be enough to lower it slowly in the morning). At lunch it was 260, and all I had consumed was two cups of coffee with no sugar. Maybe my insulin is going bad?

Good news all around

So being the incredibly clever guy that I am, I realized that my sensei actually posts the belt test results on the website, so I don't need to see him to find out... Doh! And I passed. Time to update this site with new rank and picture. Also, my leg is pretty much healed. If it was a pull, it was a very light pull. I don't notice it, except when I do a kicking motion. Walking et al as easy and painless.

Time to get back into the groove!

I hurt myself

I hurt myself today. I don't even know how to respond. I went out for HIIT sprinting, after buying some new shoes. I did a quick jog as a warmup (a few minutes), and then started. I felt a sudden pain in my left quad, like a charlie horse. It didn't go away. I tried continuing, but it was rough. I limped back home through a cloud of gnats, feeling quite sad and pathetic, and followed the RICE procedures.

Well, today it still hurts, but... It isn't bad. I can walk, I can move, I can even climb steps. It just feels like I have a nasty charlie horse in my left thigh. I hope it heals, because it is keeping me from moving properly, and I can't really go back to karate class until it is better. I'm certainly not going tonight.

The test went...

So the test was interesting. As an 8th kyu (or yellow belt) I went first, to show the white belts what to do and how to do it. Outside of doing Heian Nidan instead of Heian Shodan, the test is the same for white and yellow belts. Of course, the test for orange is the same too, except for a different kata.

Being called up first, of all the yellow belts really got my adrenaline flowing (embarassingly enough), and the format change was not expected. Last test, my first, there was an official warmup session in the beginning, this time, apparently, we were to warm up on our own. Which I barely did. Then we did the line drills, which I know backwards and forwards (pun intended), but I messed up my upper block (jodan age uke) - purely from stress. I recovered, and did the others alright. Then they put us straight into kata, rather than last time where it was line drills for EVERYONE, then kata for everyone, then kumite for everyone. This time it was students would do the line drills followed by their kata, before sitting back down again.

My kata was a blur, but the others told me it went well. And for the kumite, I was called up first (of course), then called up twice more to partner with both a while belt and an orange belt who were odd men out. I only hope I was asked to do that because I did it well enough.

 So I'm pretty sure I passed, but I'm unhappy with the stress I get when I'm doing the test. I mean, I had serious stress chemicals running throughout my body. I mean, really? I love playing karate, but I really don't care if it takes me a bit longer to get to black belt because I fail a test or two, really. So why do I get so hung up about it?

test day

So I don't know if it is a good sign or a bad sign that I keep forgetting about my karate test today. Last night, when I went to bed, it didn't even cross my mind and I slept like a baby. No restless sleep for me.

This morning, I woke up, made some coffee, remembered I had the test, and promptly stopped thinking about it. This is clearly not like me. I should be stressed and obsessive. Maybe my wife is spiking my coffee?

I practiced my kata a bit this morning. I think my Heian Nidan is "good enough" to pass the test, but I don't think it is good. At the same time, this doesn't seem to bother me. I know I have the rest of my life to continue working on it. I did spend some time working on my Heian Shodan as it seems like it is a bit rusty. Granted that doesn't matter in regards to the test today, but I like doing kata.

I guess the "crispness" will simply come with time. My issues right now, with Heian Nidan, are simply that my back stance isn't very good (when moving, I don't always end up in the right alignment), and my knife hand block (shuto uke) is often a bit too far out from my body.

My test tonight is at 19:00, so we'll see how I do. But not for a while. I'm going to class on Monday of next week (as I'll be travelling to San Antonio Tuesday and Wednesday) so I won't hear the results until the week after next.

twice in one day

Okay, so I broke down and tried running for my HIIT day. WOW!!!! It completely destroyed me. The heavy bag was nothing compared to this. In fact, I couldn't even do more than 5 iterations before calling it quits. I'm convinced that this is the superior way of abusing myself properly.

It's now a good twenty minutes after I've finished, had some water and a shower, and my lungs still feel a bit raw and my body a bit drained. This is good stuff!

de-motivation

I have to admit I'm feeling like my motivation is waning lately. Being a smart, introspective sort, it is pretty logical to assume that this is a response to the "pressure" of the upcoming test. Yesterday I didn't go to class at the last minute, due to late scheduled work meetings, and other excuses. Honestly, I could have without too much effort. But it was easier to say "I'll just go on Wednesday". And it is easier, but not that much easier. To be honest, I just can't wait until next week, when the test is done and I get to go back to pressure free learning.

Also, I find my diet has been suffering. Last night I ate some chocolates, and was pleased to see that my blood sugars didn't really go up. I figured it was counter-acting a pending sugar low. Of course, when I woke up this morning my blood sugar was 286!!!! That is incredible, and not in a good way. I need to stop cheating on my diet, and buckle down again.

Today, of course, I'm overdue for some HIIT training. Now I'm trying to figure out where I can cram it into my somewhat busy day. I'm also debating continuing HIIT training with the heavy bag (which is probably good for my martial ambitions) or start doing sprints - or both? I'm leaning towards sprints, but it is too much like work. Come winter, also, I'll be much less likely to want to run outside.

Orange belt

So I went ahead, like last time, and ordered my "new" belt in advance from Amazon. This one I ordered at 300cm instead of the 310 my previous belts were. It is still long. Maybe 290 if/when I get to green belt? Anyway, my point is something else. Is it presumptuous to order a color belt before you even take the test? I mean, maybe I should wait to even order until I've gotten confirmation that I've succeeded. While I'm pretty confident I will pass the test, and I don't believe in jinxing myself, isn't it counting my chickens before they hatch? Is it bad juju?

Calming down

So class went well today. I think I've been over-training a little bit, as I was tired and listless at the beginning of class, but I perked up pretty quickly. The warmup run was easy, but the pushups and stretching were surprisingly challenging. Most likely that was because yesterday was a weight training day. Karate after weight training, when I've been doing HIIT as well (though not on the same days) might just be pushing me a bit.

My Instructor complemented my Heian Nidan kata today during practice. As we did before my last (and first) kyu test, we are spending this week and next rehearsing the test. So first we do the line movements (apparently yellow belt has the same test as white belt, except we do Heian Nidan instead of Heian Shodan), then the kata, and then the three step kumite.

So apparently this time, after rehearsing religiously this past week, I made good improvements on my kata. It feels a bit crisper too, though nowhere near what my Sensei can do. My line drills are ok, I think, he even gave me a complement on my Soto Uke (or middle inward block). Ironically, when I was a white belt, I felt the Soto Uke to be the most difficult to get comfortable with. Now it comes much more naturally. I suppose I am making progress, even if I'm realizing it will take a long time to get comfortable with even the basics.

I think this next week and a half I'll ease up on the physical training, just like runners ease up a while before a big race to make sure their bodies are ready. I'll limit myself to the weight training every five days (which isn't much), maybe two more HIIT sessions before the 23rd. That plus practicing line drills, simulated kumite (hey, I can't clone myself) and kata will be it. Plus I'm going to try to get more sleep. For whatever reason, I've been getting only around 7 hours of sleep a night, and I don't feel perky. I assume that this is related to possible over training. Or at least the early stages of it.

The mountain gets mighty large

I'm assuming this is a normal part of training, but the karate/shotokan mountain is pretty big. I've only been training for about half a year now. My instructor is fantastic, my fellow students nice, hard working, and supportive, no complaints. But for the past month or so, I've been feeling, well, it is hard to put a word to it.

I'm not discouraged or disheartened. In fact, I'm having a blast and enjoying myself immensely. But as I am getting more exposure, the magnitude of what I am to learn just keeps growing. Last week, during training, I was in the corner practicing my kata, while the instructor was leading some more advanced students through a new kata. I couldn't help but watch, and I'm just awed by the way he moves.

Not just that everything is crisp, but the raw physicality and control he has in his movements. When I try to punch, block, kick, whatever, it looks, well, soft and sloppy by comparison. When I try to make things more crisp, they just feel stilted.

And I perpetually wonder if I'm making the progress I should. I mean, things that were difficult as a white belt (like a middle block) come much easier now, but even the things that weren't difficult (like a punch) are still sloppy looking, if that makes sense.

Is this aimless babble, or is this a normal stage of development? Is this what I was alluding to in my earlier post about inadequacy? Maybe just realizing how close to the beginning I am, and that I really need to re-define expectations of progress?